We all want our toddlers to become independent thinkers. This is something to strive for as a parent. You want them to be able to decide and to tell you what they really want to do. There are a couple of areas kids can decide on their own with no painful consequences.
1- Clothing, yes as painful as it is to see them mismatching their socks it shows their independence in thinking and they want to express themselves accordingly. I do believe if you are going some where special (church, weddings, grandmas house, picture,ect) you should do one of two things. Pick their outfit for them or give them two options "would you like to wear the blue shirt or green shirt?"
2- Eating, you can learn what your child preferences are and try asking him what he would like for a meal may save some stress for you in preparation. Start out with giving them two choices "would you like a hot dog or hamburger for dinner?" they feel like they have some control of their life with this small choice. It will help them be better eaters.
3- Friends, thy will start to have favorite play date friends around 2. You want them to have these friendships but remember to keep introducing them to other kids. By them knowing and playing with a lot of different kids they will adjust better to pre school. If they say they don't want to play with someone ask them why, if it is just a matter of "I don't want to" I would say keep the play date. If they say "he bits me or is mean to me" I would say address the problem at the next play date, keep an eye on the mean kid and if he is mean try to solve the problem. If it can't be solved no play dates with him would be suggested.
4- Activities, your toddler will have their own interest and activities that they like to got to but thy also need to be introduced to activities that will help them in school. Story times, swimming, gymnastic type classes (gymboree, My Gym, ect). These activities help them learn to follow instructions and listen to a teacher, it also helps them learn to interact with kids in a class environment. Somedays they may be very enthusiastic about their activities and other day not as much. On their days they say they don't want to go ask why. And just like they play date if they just say "because I don't want to" that is not a good reason and they may go and have a great time. If they say they don't want to go after a temperer tantrum take them, again they will most likely have a great time once they get there. I feel the only reason to skip is in the case of sickness.
Kids love to have their independence but it needs to be given slowly and within reason. By no means should your two year old be telling you how, what, or when to do things.
I particularly like giving them choices, and asking "why". Giving them choices is good, because it's a compromise--they're still exercising their free agency, but they're also learning how to deal with limitations. We don't always get everything we want! Also, I think asking "why" is a great idea--it helps them to learn, on their own, how to reason things through. Many children grow up to be adults who have *no idea* why they think the things they think!
ReplyDeleteSo very true CJ, I sing the song all the time "you can't always get what you want"... It's a great song for all. :)
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