Back to business

So it has been a LONG time since I wrote a post. I am going to hop back onto the wagon, get my butt in gear and write.
Now that I AM a mother myself, I can safely say that I practice what I preach with my own little angle.
Please let me know what you would like to hear.

Get off your I phone!

In this wonderful world of technology it's easy as an adult to get abscessed with your smart phones, laptops, I pads, ect. Paying attention to this technology more then your child will cause them to act out with bad behavior. They want you to play with them and pay attention to them. I do believe it is important for them to play by themselves but it is just as important for you to play with them. Even if they are doing their personal play time if they want to show you something they made or they learned to do you should put the technology down and look the you can get back to what you were doing. You children need to know they are more important then the I phone or TV.
Like all things with children an life it's a mater of balance. Not to much, not to little.

Manners all the time not just in front of people for a show

We all know manners are a very important and frustrating thing to teach young citizens of the world. It is not something that can be accomplished overnight or even in a week. It is a process that takes constant and consistent effort from a very young age. As soon as they can speck it should be encourage to have please and thank you be among there first words. With older children work on the sentence aspect of it. If they want something don't give it to them unless they say "please may I have...." and then when they receive it should be followed with a "thank you". I have practiced this method and have always found to have good results. I even make them say these things when they are having fits, because whining gets you nothing but please and thank you'd get you almost anything. And if you always expect it from them and make them expect they won't get something if they don't say these things then you will notice you have to remind them less often and they will say it on their own and to strangers without promptings. People find that more impressive then when you say the famous sentence use around friends or witnesses but never in privet "what's the magic word". Yes that will get somewhat polite kids but if you always make them say it even when no one else is watching you will see the difference and your friends and family will see it to.

It is a lot of work but it is like all things with children, constant and consistent effort will pay off in the end.

Than you!

Eating tips

All humans need to eat, we as adults know this and understand the

importance of a balanced health diet of veggies, fruit, carbs,

and meat proteins. But let's face not every child cares for the healthy stuff or even anything that isn't full of sugar and crap.

I have a few tips that should help you get some healthy meals into

your little one.

1- remember that a child will not starve themselves. If they're

hungry thy will eat. Sometimes we try to get little ones to eat on

a set schedule but sometimes you need to let them show you their

schedule.

2- Children's Stomachs are only as big as their little hands clasped together. They will not eat a meal that is the same size as a you or even an older sibling. If they eat only a hot dog and a yogurt for a meal they are most likely full.

3- don't allow yourself to fall into the trap of desperation where

you give them anything do they will eat. This will only teach them

that if they don't eat the good stuff and hold out long enough thy

will get the sugary stuff they like. Why eat peas when you can have

a cereal bar or puffs.

4- snacks are a necessary part of your child's day. They can have two

small snacks a day. Some children LOVE snacks more then regular

meals so they will want to eat only the snacks. If you notice them

not eating lunch and then 15 minuets after you take them down

from the table they are asking for a snack that means thy didn't eat

because they wanted a snack all along. I would suggest playing the

tough love card and say "if you are hungry then you should eat more

at lunch" and make them wait until dinner. This point is much like

#3. "why eat corn when I can have cerrios?"

5- a lot of toddlers go through phases of not eating. You hear it

all the time "she just doesn't eat..." when they seem to be doing

this they could have something upsetting their stomach. It's

important to talk with their doctor about it and try not to fall

into the traps of #3 and #4. and to always remember they will never

starve themselves when they are really hungry they will eat.

6- eat as a family. I cannot emphasize enough how important this is. It

teaches children so many good things. It helps them learn good eating

habits as far as what it good for them to eat so they will be less

Lilly to have earring disorders or obesity problems. It also helps them

to know they can come and talk to you. There have been so many studies

on the benefits of eating as a family. I will be writing a posted

dedicated it this later on.

Happy Eating!

Date night and taking time for yourself.

It is so important to take time for yourself and for your marriage (or relationship or to date). Your children demand a lot from you and you will give it all, but you need to remember to take time to recharge your batteries. Please do not feel guilt over taking time for yourself. Like all things in life it needs to be done in moderation. If you take a few hours everyday to read a book or watch a TV show or even go out and get a manicure it doesn’t make you a bad parent, it makes you a smart one who understands your limits and respects yourself enough to take the time you need. But like I said everything in moderation, if you begin to get manicures every week and start to ignore your children to watch soap operas 5 hours a day you may be taking a little to much time. You will see that you are a better, kinder and more patient parent if you take this time.

Date nights are equally important to you a d your partner. You need to keep your passion and connexion with each other. One day in about 18 years you will be alone again with your partner and you want to be able to have something in common with them other then the raising of kids. You don't want to allow your children to come between you. Spend time together with out the kids at least twice a month, go on short (or long if you can) get always to re-light the fire you once had. Take a day trip to the big city you leave near and discover it together. Take a dance class or learn a language together. All of these thing will help your relationship to stay alive. Again making you a better parent and partner. Your children will be better off if they see that their parents love each other. It will show them love, respect and bounders.

Just like in the 2010 Movie Date Night go and have fun!

When should your toddle start deciding what he wants to do.

We all want our toddlers to become independent thinkers. This is something to strive for as a parent. You want them to be able to decide and to tell you what they really want to do. There are a couple of areas kids can decide on their own with no painful consequences.

1- Clothing, yes as painful as it is to see them mismatching their socks it shows their independence in thinking and they want to express themselves accordingly. I do believe if you are going some where special (church, weddings, grandmas house, picture,ect) you should do one of two things. Pick their outfit for them or give them two options "would you like to wear the blue shirt or green shirt?"

2- Eating, you can learn what your child preferences are and try asking him what he would like for a meal may save some stress for you in preparation. Start out with giving them two choices "would you like a hot dog or hamburger for dinner?" they feel like they have some control of their life with this small choice. It will help them be better eaters.

3- Friends, thy will start to have favorite play date friends around 2. You want them to have these friendships but remember to keep introducing them to other kids. By them knowing and playing with a lot of different kids they will adjust better to pre school. If they say they don't want to play with someone ask them why, if it is just a matter of "I don't want to" I would say keep the play date. If they say "he bits me or is mean to me" I would say address the problem at the next play date, keep an eye on the mean kid and if he is mean try to solve the problem. If it can't be solved no play dates with him would be suggested.

4- Activities, your toddler will have their own interest and activities that they like to got to but thy also need to be introduced to activities that will help them in school. Story times, swimming, gymnastic type classes (gymboree, My Gym, ect). These activities help them learn to follow instructions and listen to a teacher, it also helps them learn to interact with kids in a class environment. Somedays they may be very enthusiastic about their activities and other day not as much. On their days they say they don't want to go ask why. And just like they play date if they just say "because I don't want to" that is not a good reason and they may go and have a great time. If they say they don't want to go after a temperer tantrum take them, again they will most likely have a great time once they get there. I feel the only reason to skip is in the case of sickness.

Kids love to have their independence but it needs to be given slowly and within reason. By no means should your two year old be telling you how, what, or when to do things.

Will and Jada Smith and how they raise good kids, even in Hollywood

I have always been a big fan of Will and Jada Smith. They show the world you can be a celebrity and be good people and stay happily married AND raise good kids.

I have a lot of respect for them and the example they are to the world. They were recently on the Oprah show and they were asked about how they punish their children and this was what they said.

Quote from Oprah show

"Another common question among parents is what punishment looks like in the Smith home. "That's one of the really difficult struggles because we don't exactly believe in punishment, per se. We believe in restriction, that you can have as much freedom as you can handle," Will says. "You can cut your hair. You can put stuff on your wall. And as soon as you do something that is detrimental to yourself, and when you can't be trusted with your freedom, then you have to be pulled back. But it's not about punishing you for what you did???it's about protecting you from the potential damage that you could do to yourself."

This makes so much sense and I must say I will be something I practice from now on. Children need bounders and thy need to learn what they can handle but as parents you need to protect them from themselves sometimes.

Read more about the Smith families ideas, they have a lot of really great ways of raising their kids and how they work on their marriage.